Posts Tagged ‘Jessica’
Jessica Simpson’s Almost Titty-Slip
02/01/2009 posted in Celebrity Nipples, Celebs without Underwear, Jessica Simpson by: Mike
There are a couple of things that are wrong in this pic. One, Dumbo’s hair and two, that mosquito bite she calls a tit. She’s done a good job giving me the blue balls. If she wants to be a sick tease, she better not half-ass it next time. Bitch is sooooo dumb she thinks coloring her hair brown will make her smart. A few days ago, she reportedly rushed to the men’s locker room when her footballer boyfriend Tony Homo Romo passed out in the men’s shower room from a broken cartilage.
I’m thinking it’s not Dumbo’s first visit to the men’s locker room with soap-sudded cocks dangling in her face and shit. Broken cartilage my ass, Homo Romo passed out coz it was the first time he’s seen a real cock. Up next, Tommy Girl passed out in Cowboy’s locker room in 3..2..1…
Jessica Simpson’s Nasty Ass Upskirt
10/12/2008 posted in Celebrities in Skirts, Celebrity Ass Candids, Celebrity Upskirts, Jessica Simpson by: Mike
It’s good to know there are two things in this world that we can always count on. Ihop to never run out of pancakes and Jessica Dumbo Simpson to keep on exposing fugly pieces of her herself to the world. Also, there are three things you can always expect to see her doing at her concert. One, titty-fucking her huge funbags with the mic while singing her garbage which she calls music. Two, excessively showing her nasty tongue like a freakin salamander and three, flashing her sagging ass to the audience.
Here’s Dumbo Simpson(though I personally would rather see Homer Simpson’s drunk ass on tv than this skanky celebutard’s) presenting her ass for you in another one of her unsolicited celebrity upskirts.
Jessica “Dumbass” Simpson Wants To Study Religion
04/12/2008 posted in Celebrities in Skirts, Hollywood Gossip, Jessica Simpson by: Mike
Oh dear God. Not another useless bitch having an epiphany of herself as the next Christ. Jessica Simpson wants to master religion after reading(wait a minute, she knows how to read??) The Da Vinci Code saying she was inspired by the book. Oooookay? First, does this celebutard know the book is just fiction? And second, how the hell did she learn how to use the word contemplating in a sentence?
The bimbo told Marie Claire, “I’ve been contemplating taking a college course in religion. I love religion. I remember whenever the book ‘The Da Vinci Code’ came out, the Discovery Channel did this three-night piece on it that I TiVoed and then watched eight times.”
Okay, who’s the smart ass that switched this hoe’s book with “The Da Vinci Code for Dummies”? I’ll give her something to contemplate about. One, you should stop thinking of “intelligent” ways to make you look dumber than you already are and second, you need to go back to first grade and have a real education so next time you can save yourself from looking like a retard asking where the Adidas knickers are at a Nike store.
Jessica Biel Is In A Tranny Mood
28/11/2008 posted in Celebs Id Like To Fuck, Jessica Biel by: Mike
No, this is not a photo of Felicity Huffman dressed as a drag queen in the movie Trans America. It’s just Jessica Biel walking to her car looking like an old tranny. I’m confused. We already know who wears the pants in their relationship, but is she trying to play Justin’s role too? That outfit would look better on him, imo. It’s more like his color. Maybe she took the term “relationships should work both ways” too literally. I mean, don’t get me wrong, she’s hot as hell. She’s the only reason why my ever reliable hand and I don’t find Seventh Heaven boring. She tells in an edition of British Marie Claire that she’s experiencing some “changes” lately like pains when she’s pounding that rock hard man-ass on the treadmill and some back aches in waking up in the morning. Jesus, she sounds just like my dad except that he’s 65. Don’t expect those meat bags to get any bigger as well since the 26-year old Texas Chainsaw babe is against plastic surgery.
“I am really afraid of blades on my face,” she says. “That freaks me out beyond belief. I would way rather have wrinkles than have some slice-up going on.” –British edition of Marie Claire
Damnit. Maybe I could ask her politely to mail me her fant-ass-tic rump before it sags.
