Because who else can we trust on up-to-date, on-point, Pulitzer-winning NEWS-WORTHY articles other than US Weekly, not only did they queef out a juicy headline on Dumpo Simpson’s fart, they even filed that shit under EXCLUSIVE category:
“While one of the executives was speaking in a room full of five people, Jessica let out a very loud fart,” says the insider.
“Her mother [Tina Simpson] was there, and it prompted her to turn around and yell, ‘Jessica!’ The tension was extreme. No one knew what to say.” -Us Weekly
Okay the bitches over at Us Weekly need to pull the stick out of the asses and relax the fuck down. Seriously. It’s like inviting a pig to a tea-party and expect it to have the grace of a swan. Although in Dumbo’s defense, how can they be sure it’s her fart and not the sound of her monster ass cheeks rubbing against the leather seat?
Leave a Reply