File this one under ’shit that don’t amuse me’. Didn’t I tell you bitches that it only takes a while ’til this vapid little gremlin pulls out another one of her little attention whoring stunt? She must be hangin’ out with the walking herpes that is Shauna Sand lately ‘coz she’s filing a lawsuit against some imaginary people for stealing her laptop and exposing her sex tapes. TMZ will tell more of this trickery:

“Tila doesn’t know why the video is surfacing now, but she claims it was ripped from a laptop that she reported stolen roughly two years ago — and now she’s threatening to sue the site for posting the clip.
TMZ spoke with Tila’s lawyer, Cyrus Nownejad, who told us, “A police report has been filed for Tila’s stolen laptop computer which contained that specific clip. I am currently in the process of sending a cease and desist letter and a notice of intent to sue if it’s not removed.” -TMZ

Okay i don’t know why she’s making a big deal out of this now but from what I know, her life’s one big sex tape to begin with. Click the rest of the thumbs for some troll porn.

In troll news…another day, another plan to get back in the relevancy spotlight, Titty Tequila went balls-deep in outskanking herself by going nude on cam and masturbating in live feed. Jeezus, this hoe has done everything for attention. I mean, her threats in ending her worthless life, allowing her ex-boyfriend to beat her troll-like body and now this? Somebody tell this asian leprechaun her pussy peddling days are over. Meanwhile, Titty Tequila’s ‘leaked’ sex tape in 3…2…1…

The new Paris Hilton of sex tapes was spotted teaching her kid, Alexandra the simple steps in being a whore. Dressed in the crocheted table cloth my memaw gave me for Christmas that my obese cat destroyed and looking like a second-hand blow-up doll you can see marked 50% off at a third-world country’s flea market, Shauna Sand gave her daughter from ex-husband Lorenzo Lamas a crash course. And what better way to wrap it up than a classic nipple slip?

However, she should have taken her parenting skills in the confinement of her own home because I really didn’t need to see that disgusting pepperoni shit of a nipple. It looks like it’s just been sewn on to her airbags moments before these shots. Arrrrrrr! I was in the mood for pizza, you inconsiderate bitch!

Well, well. It seems like you sick fucks just might have a new addition to your collection of Hollywhores’ sex tapes ‘coz some nosy bitches over at the National Enquirer is saying they have Jennifer Lopez’s sex tape in their hands and probably jacked over it too. C’mon now, seriously? Who didn’t know this was coming? I’m actually surprised (and dissapointed) no sex tape has been leaked when her ass crack was still getting motorboated by P.Diddy’s cocoa stick. Kim K just proved that she’s the better whore between the two.

“The ENQUIRER viewed the bombshell 11-hour tape that J.Lo doesn’t want anyone to see – and we have all the details. The tape includes footage of the beauty playing sexy bedroom games with first husband Ojani Noa, 35, a Cuban-born waiter she married 12 years ago. In one sizzling scene, J.Lo is looking at herself in a bathroom mirror, wearing only a bra and panties – and showing off her famous butt. Sources say the star is embarrassed by the planned release of the image-shattering tape. The 40-year-old is the mother of 20-month-old twins with third husband Marc Anthony, 41, and projects a sexy but wholesome image. But that’s not the naughty Jennifer seen on the tape – in skimpy underwear being chased around the bedroom by Noa, who playfully spanks her. In another eye-popping shot, a clearly immodest J.Lo laughs as the camera catches her climbing onto a motorcycle wearing a short dress and no panties. -National Enquirer

Ummm…okay. So her ass makes a cameo in a motorcycle and she sashays around the house in her granny panties, big deal. That doesn’t exactly make that a sex tape, does it? If that bubble ass gets pounded on the motorcycle by a pack or rabid black guys somewhere in the vid, why not. Until then, I’m not watching that crap.

The sex tape of doom that’s supposed to be aired in Nat Geo to show how a duck mates with a human is already out. Shauna Sand’s sex vid with this trick had just came out and since I am in no mood to describe what went down in the shitty 2 minute vid some kid traded me for a pack of gummy bears(really, I can’t stress how shitty the vid is at this point), let these screenshots show ya bastards.

I don’t know, maybe the vid will give you guys a boner. I personally just don’t have a thing for beastiality.

Some hoe in the tv series Gossip girl just joined the sex scandal club. Sweet! I don’t really watch any of those crappy shows but at least Leighton Meester gave us something to gossip about. You dig my joke? High five! These are just the pics but I can’t wait to see the vid. Now we can all relax and play the waiting game.

What just made your rectum do a triple sommersault is the sight of Wonky Mc Valtrex. Relax fellas, it’ll be gone after the jump. Parasite Hilton came at the Sundance Film Festival in Park City, Utah living one of her sick fantasies as a tranny anal-loving aviator about to get ass-fucked in that latex whoresuit. The only thing missing in this pic is a cock in her mouth and a video cam. Wonky and her “fuck me without a condom” face later re-appeared to the paps as an evil cunty ice queen after the black latex suit finally managed to escape from her bony ass.

Now let’s move on to news that is not news: The stupid cunt reportedly has a new sex video floating around. Some douche named Darnell Riley claimed to have bought 14-hours of Wonky’s sex vids from a bunch of Russian kids who broke into her home and stole the shit. You can try your luck downloading it online. The first time I did, my computer bitch-slapped me and screamed virus. So I guess wear a condom when you download, ‘coz I’m tellin’ ya not even SpyWare can heal that shit.

The question is, would you hit that? More importantly, would you hit THIS?(see thumb below) Well THAT hot bitch of a monster is American wrestler Chyna, and though she may have some uncanny resemblance to a tranny Hulk or a cross-breed between Grendall the monster and Arnold Swarchzenegger, you would think she’s just one of those over-sized steroid-humping sexless freak. But wait til you catch a glimpse of the 8th World Wonder that is her mini-peen-clit. It got me all confused about what to name that thing.

Whatever it is, it’s a fuckin’ icebreaker, a perfect topic for dinner table–with sick clit-loving freaks! I mean, can that little mini-peen squirt? Is it packed with a shitload of jizz? Is there a condom out in the market invented for this shit? Did she and Schlong Stone did some kind of sick ritual that included offering their twats to the God of Penis in exchange for a cock? Nat Geo should do one on this. Ya know, it’s not that bad really. You can tell Chyna to go fuck herself and she actually can!

Britney is currently hanging out at Mel Gibsons house in Costa Rica, so she probably doesnt know about the tape beeing leaked! So you better hurry up and download the tape now, before it gets banned from the net!