Because Lindsay Hoehan has a face that only coke and a bottle of Redbull could love, it’s not a surprise when a few magazine headlines queef out reports on lesbo domestic violence between her and the cunt-faced carpet muncher other known as SamRo. Like Radar Online, for instance:

“One time I saw her [Lindsay] and she had a large welt on her head,” the source told RadarOnline.com. “She told me that Sam beat the (bleep) out of her. “She also said that Sam even punched and choked her one time.”

“It’s so twisted. They’re not together, but they are,” said the source. “I never thought I’d ever say this, but I really do feel sorry for Lindsay. She is just lost. She’s alone. She has no friends to turn to.” -RadarOnline.com

I mean c’mon now. Can you blame a bulldyke for bitch-slapping this cokewhore? We fuckin’ approve! If anything, this SamRo person should cut the dj’ing and focus more on honing her mauling skills. Okay let me just do this, I know exactly the right person for this gig.

Ring…ring…ring…

Yo yo, my man Chris Brown! Waaaaaaaasssuuup dawg???

Because Titty Tequila emits the very essence of subtlety and elegance, here she is giving the paps the finger and making out with her fake fiancee before giving us a whiff of her leprechaun twat.

So for the three people who don’t mind fapping over a herpes-infested punani, click away.

Here’s the little gremlin trashwhore Titty Tequila with her chewed-up button tits hangin’ out at some event and because it’s time for another famewhoring trickery, she took to her Twitter blog and posted some shit about her being engaged to Johnson&Johnson heiress carpet-muncher Casey Johnson. Us Magazine reports:

“This is exclusive and going to be all over the news tomorrow, but because I love you guys so much, we are giving you the exclusive first — Tila army fans — tonight, my girlfriend has asked me to marry her!”
She then flashed a ring, which she said is a “17-carat diamond ring from my baby. It’s so fat you can’t even see it! So yeah, my baby got me this 17-carat ring. My baby takes care of me. Beat that J.Lo! Beat that Khloe and Lamar! “Casey Johnson and Miss Tila Tequila are officially engaged. Woo!” she added.
She insisted the ring is “not fake, because my baby is a f****** baller. She’s a billionaire! She’s the heiress of Johnson and Johnson. Anyway, we are going to make love tonight for our honeymoon.” -Us Magazine

Ya know what, I’m tired of this disease-carrying asian leprechaun and her fuckery. Nobody believes in this shit. Even if she posted something like she’s about to hang herself by her clit inside a cabinet in a motel in Thailand, I still won’t believe that shit. Video or it didn’t happen, you sly trollop.

Because Darth Vader is one horny motherfucker that will not stop, it has found a home between Adrianne Curry’s juicy tits. How fuckin’ classic is this? Somewhere, 99.9 percent of your average booger-picking fanboys are prematurely ejaculating over this shit.

Here’s the rest of it. I threw in some lesbian action because sometimes the world isn’t always a bitch.

Nothing says like ‘Thank you Mom and Dad for having fucked my childhood’ than this photo spread of Lilo for Muse magazine. Good Gawd this slut is nasty to the bone! I might have fapped to her shit yesterday but after being mauled by my dick for now putting it on STD watch and a threat to rape me in the ass if I pull that treachery again, I vowed to never get a boner out of anything Lilo.

Click more of the skankery below and hope your dick won’t punish you for this, you sick bitch.

Gawddamn. GAWDDAMN! Now this is what I’m talking about. Two hot lipstick lesbians in some kinky roleplaying shit, fondling their vajayjays and showing off their fur patch. I’m not sure when these pics took place but I’ve heard it’s back from when Dita Von Teese was still building up the ladder to classy whoredom.

Here’s Dita and some model who’s either latina or black or both in some 1999 lesbo photoshoot. I threw in a backpussy pic somewhere. Don’t mention it.

Okay I know this cheap lesbian low-blow thrill is as exciting as an empty carton of milk but it kinda makes my peen do the happy dick dance. Drew Barrymore and Ellen Page making out on the October cover of Marie Claire. What, is the mag jumpin’ balls-deep in the dyke market now?

I don’t know what the hell they’re getting at here but if they keep this up, I just might consider their shit a substitute for Hustler in my private time.

If you haven’t at least pre-cummed reading that title then dude you’re officially gay. Finally, something to look forward to in the movies other than Nazi basterds being inglourious or Channing Tatum making G.I. Joe look like the Will Smith of hiphop. A violent lesbian love scene between the planet’s two hottest chick, Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman? There is a god. I can pretty much envision Darren Aronofsky, the director of the movie being paraded like fucking Xerxes as soon as this shit comes out! All hail Aronofsky!

“Can I just tell you why none of my review matters? Can I just tell you why my review is absolutely pointless? Because in this movie, Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis have sex,” the review reads. “Yeah. You read that right. And not just nice sweet innocent sex either. We’re talking ecstasy-induced hungry aggressive angry sex. Yeah so…this movie is already on the must-see list of 2010.” -Script Editor

Meanwhile, here’s Mila’s juicy tits almost coming out of her top in the thumbs below.

Wow. Just wow. I just jizzed on my work desk and i don’t give a fuck. Sweet Jeezus…that motherfucker on the background is the luckiest man alive at the time this awesome shit happened. Kelly Brook getting motorboated by this hot lesbian pornstar named Riley Steele with a tit-slip on a boat.

That’s an instant boner headline right there. Now if we can just get Riley to motorboat Kelly’s buttcheeks I can fuckin’ die happily in my sleep. I can’t even…this shit is ridiculously hot!

FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS HOLY! Why??? If you want some pig-to-pig action, look no further. This shit right here is straight-up fuckery with a swipe of skankery in so many levels. Lady GagMe took her slut act with an equally ugly whore named Lady Starlight way too far. I mean I’m all about pussies. I love pussies and has always worshipped them like how my gf worships my dick–which is saying a lot. But this Lady Starlight’s pussy is borderline Wacko Jacko disturbing. It made me vomit a little in my mouth.

That hairy monster wouldn’t have been as fuckin’ disgusting if it didn’t look like it was ravaged by a pack of wild horny leopard seals in mating season. That thing makes Bat Boy look like the fuckin Angelina Jolie of the pussy world.