Because Lindsay Hoehan has a face that only coke and a bottle of Redbull could love, it’s not a surprise when a few magazine headlines queef out reports on lesbo domestic violence between her and the cunt-faced carpet muncher other known as SamRo. Like Radar Online, for instance:

“One time I saw her [Lindsay] and she had a large welt on her head,” the source told RadarOnline.com. “She told me that Sam beat the (bleep) out of her. “She also said that Sam even punched and choked her one time.”

“It’s so twisted. They’re not together, but they are,” said the source. “I never thought I’d ever say this, but I really do feel sorry for Lindsay. She is just lost. She’s alone. She has no friends to turn to.” -RadarOnline.com

I mean c’mon now. Can you blame a bulldyke for bitch-slapping this cokewhore? We fuckin’ approve! If anything, this SamRo person should cut the dj’ing and focus more on honing her mauling skills. Okay let me just do this, I know exactly the right person for this gig.

Ring…ring…ring…

Yo yo, my man Chris Brown! Waaaaaaaasssuuup dawg???

Here’s Miranda Kerr doing the naked thingy for GQ mag. Ya know what, I’m gonna go ahead and quit bein’ a hater today ‘coz I got to admit these shots are fuckin’ hot it makes me want to put a wig and a thong on a fishing rod and pretend it’s her I’m boinking. You should too if you know what’s good for ya.

Because Twitter also serves as a fuckin’ portal to things that are horrific and distressful, here’s Courtney Love covering her cokey tits and showing off her trashy 5-dollar hooker tats in Twitter. There should be rules against this kind of skankery.

Though I personally would rather see a pic of an alley rat shitting itself, I’m posting this crap anyway for the zero of you who gives a flying fuck about this zombie whore.

Nothing says like ‘Thank you Mom and Dad for having fucked my childhood’ than this photo spread of Lilo for Muse magazine. Good Gawd this slut is nasty to the bone! I might have fapped to her shit yesterday but after being mauled by my dick for now putting it on STD watch and a threat to rape me in the ass if I pull that treachery again, I vowed to never get a boner out of anything Lilo.

Click more of the skankery below and hope your dick won’t punish you for this, you sick bitch.

DO. NOT. WANT.

Just when I thought this pussy trainwreck couldn’t be any more repulsive, here she is with her flapjack ass on the cover of Muse magazine. Who in the flying fuck is giving this boney slut a job? Seriously? The only time I can see her being on the cover of a mag is if it’s Equestrian, and on the obituary page pretty soon if this bitch doesn’t quit strutting the hoe-on-crack stroll.

In other worthless news, Lilo is up to her new tricks. And because she’s a boney skank with absolutely no class and money, she pulled out raw emotions and broke into crocodile tears when she was asked to pay up after double-fisting her vajayjay. Okay not exactly, I just made that last part up. You can swallow that vomit back to where it came from. You assholes should’ve known better. No one in his right or wrong mind will pay that hoe to fist herself and two, it will take something as big as Shamu thrown in her beef jerky for her to feel shit. So the farthest she can get to double-fisting is with a bottle of expensive champagne. People will tell you what went down.

“Lindsay stormed into the kitchen and grabbed two bottles of really expensive champagne. She finished both bottles with a friend. When the bartender gave her a bill, she had a meltdown,” says the source. “She was yelling at him and screaming profanities at everyone. The bar insisted she pay, so she had to call a friend with her credit-card information.” Before the actress left the club around 2:30 a.m., the onlooker says, “She was crying and wanted to go home. She kept saying ‘I don’t pay for drinks! This is ridiculous! I’m freaking out!’”-People

What’s even more ridiculous is the bartender who is obviously a noob at the job. Everybody knows about Lilo currency. It’s all about the blowjobs baby!

So I guess these pictures taken yesterday of our little cokewhore is real proof that the rumors about her brand new D’s are true. How can you not be sold, man? Her blouse are practically pulled fuckin’ down under her tits and if that’s not flaunting her new rocks, then maybe this, this and especially THIS should remind you of the beast and her miserable-looking tits that used to terrorize the streets of London.

In his ongoing attempt to ruin his daughter’s career(or whatever’s left of it) and to destroy her down to her last rotten cell, Father of The Year Michael Lohan released another audio tape from his collection of ‘Lindsay’s Best Hits Down Memory Lane’ aka recorded phone conversations between him, her and his wife Dina Lohan. Basically, the tape is saying that Lilo is not only a murderer but a home-wrecker as well. Radar will tell more of this homicide fuckery:

“And she was dating Heath when he died,” Dina reveals to Michael. “I don’t know if you know that, but I know cause I would drop her off and they were friends very, very close, ok?”…

Dina told Michael about the relationship because she was afraid for Lindsay’s life too: “Because when she’s drunk or takes an Adderall with it she will do something like Heath Ledger did in a second without thinking.”
Lindsay’s mother was also worried about her relationship with Samantha Ronson, telling Michael that she thought Lindsay should walk away but it wasn’t that easy of a decision for her daughter. “It’s very easy for a rational person to say. But for an irrational person who has a problem with her DNA and alcohol and Adderall and asthma and every other things she’s got wrong with her.” -Radar

Ya’all have to give me a moment here fellas ‘coz I’m still trying to figure out which one of these juicy information is the actual news. Lilo the suicidal whore or Lilo the murderer? From what i know, this hoe’s been killing our eyes everyday with the image of her rotten saggy tits and vajayjay. As for being a whore, c’mon now. Even that deaf and mute day-shift sidewalk hooker from your workplace has a picture of Lilo stuffed in her bra for everyday motivation. The only one who doesn’t know about this baboonery is that guy who just crawled out from under that rock.

Our favorite crackie from Camden finally resurfaced after months of hibernating her rotting skeleton in the island of St. Lucia. And although these pics may bring out some feeling of guilt, shame and awkwardness in your no-no, allow a few minutes for this majestic sight to sink in to your skin while patting your no-no and assuring it that everything will be alright.

Here she is taking out her brand-new tits all over London town last night. You know there’s still hope for humanity when Amy Winehouse actually looks fuckable after a boob job.

Fresh from the loony bin, Mischa Barton paraded around town in a see-through top, skirt and a pair of uggs. I mean really, why do girls wear uggs? Whenever I see someone wearing that godawful mess, it makes me want to drown kittens. I dated this chick once and when I finally got her naked, she pulled out her damn uggs from under her bed, wore it and proceeded to give me oral. Dude I swear my meathammer immediately hid between my balls and wouldn’t want to do shit with a pussy in uggs. So I started imagining all kinds of kinky stuff in my head but it was the most awkward moment not even Megan Fox can save. Uggs is my dick’s fuckin’ cryptonite.

Here’s the suicidal chick from the tv series,The OC , strolling the streets and searching the meaning of life. It looks to me that her head’s not the only thing she lost–her bra too.