If you follow Hollywood news ‘coz a) you have no life and b) you’re a fat bum who gets off upon hearing latest celebrity homewreck gossip then you may have heard about Sandra Bullock getting cheated on by her douchebag husband Jesse James. If you’re curious as to who he cheated with, wonder no more and believe this shit ‘coz this walking dumpster garbage right here is the one.

Man, he couldn’t look for a more nastier and uglier skank. Ever watched the movie Teeth? It’s A movie about a chick’s punani who has razor sharp teeth that has an appetite for dicks, mincing them to pieces post-intercourse? Well that shit’s pretty much this whore’s vajayjay in real-life except that it’s probably got tentacles in her ass too.

I figured I haven’t seen Gayfish’s human dildo for a while so here’s the ghetto-loving white skank taking her ass floss for a walk. I’m not gonna start bitchin’ ‘coz I am liking what I see. I mean after seeing this beast of a woman’s badonkers, I’m learning how to shut my damn mouth and see things on a different level.

And by things, it can only mean asses.

I know. Nobody needs to this shit. Nobody should witness the crypt-keeper balls-deep on viagra and sucking the youth of this Latino man-gina. But it was seen in the act of it’s evil whore-mongering. Let this be a warning to all you pretty ‘weiner-vender’ boys out there…just imagine it’s maggot-infested tongue fucking the shit out of your mouth and those veiny hands all over your dick ’til all your man juice run dry.

Geezus…I would rather stick my wiener in the meat grinder. True story.

Because Lindsay Hoehan has a face that only coke and a bottle of Redbull could love, it’s not a surprise when a few magazine headlines queef out reports on lesbo domestic violence between her and the cunt-faced carpet muncher other known as SamRo. Like Radar Online, for instance:

“One time I saw her [Lindsay] and she had a large welt on her head,” the source told RadarOnline.com. “She told me that Sam beat the (bleep) out of her. “She also said that Sam even punched and choked her one time.”

“It’s so twisted. They’re not together, but they are,” said the source. “I never thought I’d ever say this, but I really do feel sorry for Lindsay. She is just lost. She’s alone. She has no friends to turn to.” -RadarOnline.com

I mean c’mon now. Can you blame a bulldyke for bitch-slapping this cokewhore? We fuckin’ approve! If anything, this SamRo person should cut the dj’ing and focus more on honing her mauling skills. Okay let me just do this, I know exactly the right person for this gig.

Ring…ring…ring…

Yo yo, my man Chris Brown! Waaaaaaaasssuuup dawg???

Hot dang Mariah, how you doin’!

Forget the butterface, her sweet rack is what’s up! I’d motorboat the living shit out of those canon balls without shame. Speaking of shame, check out her bitch slave holding the umbrella for her. Gaaaaay. Dude seriously, let go of that shit. Where the hell did your dignity go? Go pick it up from under your wife’s juicy flapjacks along with your career.

Moving along, Mariah’s funbags at the Golden Globes, gentlemen. Your welcome.

Having a lovely day? Well here’s one to fuck it up. Apparently, old-timey thinks she can still pop a baby out of her dusty vajayjay ‘coz she’s basically fuckin close friends’ ears about how she wants to have a baby with her 22-year old Brazilian boyfriend Jesus. The Sun will explain more of this crap:

The Queen of Pop – who already has four kids – has consulted doctors about conceiving another child at the age of 51, pals said. Brazilian Jesus, who at 22 is less than half Madge’s age, has told her that becoming a father would be “his greatest adventure”. She is said to have agreed he would make a “fantastic dad” and told friends: “I have endless love in my heart for another child.” -The Sun

Okay I don’t know which horror flick she’s picked this idea from but somebody needs to sit this deluded hag’s ass down and tell her that zombies can’t procreate.

If you’re a sick bastard like me who’s into lactating chicks, then this shit just might be for you. Katy Perry is rumored to have been impregnated by her hairy-ass ogre boyfriend Russel Brand. Jeezus Christ…can you imagine motorbating her cream-filled titties? It’s gonna be a fuckin’ gondola ride in a milk factory.

Holy shit…I know you guys think this midget hoe’s mutant body is built for fucking and I would like to agree with you sick fucks but let’s keep it real here for a minute and tell me who in the flying fuck can slide his dick past that monstrosity of an ass? Seriously? You need a crowbar or some sort to open that shit up.

However, I’d be lying if I said I don’t want to go trekking up Cellulite mountain.

Because Titty Tequila emits the very essence of subtlety and elegance, here she is giving the paps the finger and making out with her fake fiancee before giving us a whiff of her leprechaun twat.

So for the three people who don’t mind fapping over a herpes-infested punani, click away.

Holy beef jerky! Whatever that thing is, I’m sure it tastes nothing like it. It’s been a while I haven’t posted any crap about Dumbo Simpson but I knew in my black heart that it would only take another classy car exit before I would. Remember the freak from Smashing Pumpkins? Ok, you’re right they all are. The one that looks like a cross breed of Freddy Kruger and Verne Troyer? Well believe it or not, he’s hittin’ that pic above at present. E! reports:

It seems Jessica Simpson is now looking to make beautiful music with Smashing Pumpkins frontman Billy Corgan. What reportedly started off as a mere crush has turned into something a whole lot more.
“She has fallen hard and is smitten,” a source tells E! News of Jessica, adding that both she and 42-year-old Billy consider themselves “officially dating.” -E!

And by ‘officialy dating’, it means rubbing each other’s privates. I totally believe this. Knowing Dumbo Simpson’s level of thinking, she prolly thinks he’s one giant walking dildo.