“Uhm…hey 2004, can i have my body back?”

I don’t know what to make of these pics of Carmen Electra. All I know is that somebody’s been skipping her stripperobic dvd lately. She used to give me an instant boner everytime I see her in a bikini but all that remains in the past now.

This right here is real proof why you’ll never be a hundred percent on some pretty chick you meet at a bar with a shitload of make-up on ‘coz in the morning when the sweat of sex and jizz has rubbed it off her face, there’s an 80% chance that the first thing you’ll see when you open your eyes is a fuckin’ monster sucking your dick. Unless you had a hard-on just reading the last sentence, that shit is not so cool.

She may be looking like some broke ass gutter hooker in these pics but this sex kitten is still fuckable as an old bottle of wine. Yeah i’ve tried sticking my peen in a bottle of wine back in college and it was the second best fuck of my life. The first is when I’ve finally crawled my way into Megan Fox’s pussy walls.

Anyhoe, click on the first thumb to see Carmen Electra humping my leg like a bitch in heat. I’m joking! Here she is hosting the Chelsea Girls fuckery concert last night where the bitch was banging her head and crawling on all fours on the stage, giving it with what dignity and self-respect she’s had left. And for an aging sex icon has-been, that’s a fuckin’ tall order.

Oh, not much. Just Carmen Electra and her power jugs and coochies givin’ us a hard on. This hot slut right here really leaves none to the imagination but that’s how I like it. Whenever I see naked pics of her, she automatically pops in my head naked and on all fours waiting for me to strum her like how her cheapo fiancee Rob Patterson makes love to his guitar. Heard the guy bought her a black diamond engagement ring online for a bargain.

Yep, only trashy meth-feeding rockers pull classy shit like that. I’m betting my brunette bombshell’s marriage to this piece of rock trash will be as quick as the lame sloppy-seconds I just had with the cafeteria lady, just like her marriage to equally crappy douchebags Dave Navarro and Dennis Rodman. But that shit’s none of our biz now, is it? Hammer away!

Meet the reason for my morning wood. See, this right here is how I like to start my mornings. Seeing naked girls dangling their bits and pieces infront of me tops caramel mochafrap from Starbucks. Although my girl Carmen Electra leaves nothing to the imagination and was once married to Dennis Rodman(ya can’t forgive a hoe married to that fucktard), it’s impossible to hate her. I mean just look at her sweet tits and twat getting clunged by the bunny. She’s the ultimate fuck.

Check out the babe who made my sheets wet this morning.