Since my ex-wife Megan Fox is taking a break from giving me wood, here’s Ashley Greene pretty much doing the job for her. I’ve been keeping an eye on this brunette hottie and every time she shows some tit, she captures my dick heart. And because a fuckable chick tied and gagged while showing a bit of tit needs no story whatsoever, have no shame and fap click away.

Ashley Greene’s body-painted tits were the new face for Sobe energy drink and can I just say that Sobe is now officially my new go-to energy drink. I think these marketing bitches has found a clever plan on how to sell their product fast, ‘coz these incredibly sexy shots of Ashley make me hot I may need ten bottles of this shit to quench my thirst.

I wasn’t fully aware that Men’s Fitness actually featured chicks. I’ve always thought they were a gay mag but these sexy pictures of Ashley Greene half-naked proves…well…actually, nothing. I mean is it just the booze ass-fucking my head or does she look pretty manly in these shots? Look closer at the main pic and tell me that’s not a bulge in her panties?

Meh, she should have just flashed her titties at the cam. Ohhh right, gay readers. Got it.

Since everyone(and by everyone, I mean hoes who have no friggin’ life who get turned on by seeing an interracial-loving BBW who incidentally resembles Shrek in the face area–okay maybe in the body too) has been talking about Khloe Kardashian’s big fat FAKE wedding to Lamar Odom today, I’m gonna go ahead and look the other way coz I’m not really a fan of stuff that will make my ass queef like Jessica Alba’s cuntface or Serena Williams in a bikini so I’m posing these pics of Ashley Green’s unmarried, unfake and unshrek-like side boobs.

That’s right fellas, side boobs are the new titty slips. Okay maybe not but eitherway these mofos will still do the job so enjoy!

Here’s another set of Ashley Greene’s naughty pics but this time it’s taken by a professional photographer for Maxim mag. Damn. I’m really feeling this chick right now. She’s got this whole sexy-innocent look going on. The type of girl who won’t mind you sticking your weiner in her ass if you give her flowers on one knee. Those girls are hard to find. You can be lucky if you meet a girl who’ll keep her clothes on. *cough*Paris*cough*Hilton. But as much as she brought sensually sweet in this shoot, we all know this blood-thirsty vampire from Twilight transforms into a hot exhibitionist off the camera.

Check out more of Ashley’s sexy shots in her photoshoot for Maxim in the thumbs below.

If you haven’t seen the movie Twilight and you wanted to but can’t ‘coz you’re scared that all your macho friends will think you’re a sappy gayfish, well this could be the perfect excuse your glittery ass has been waiting for. Apparently, Vanessa Hudgens is not alone in this week’s famewhoring game.

*Insert sarcastic surprised tone* We have a contender, ladies and gentlemen!

Not to be outslutted by the Highschool Musical chick, 22-year old Ashley Greene’s naked pics crawled out yesterday. So now the question would be, who nailed it better? Vanessa or Ashley? Well If you ask me whose side I’m on, I always choose the one who knows her way around a shave. What’s that you say? There’s not a full shot of Vanessa’s vajayjay? I know. So now we play the waiting game…

Sometimes you need to think outside the box, fellas.