Because I’m a horny motherfucker who doesn’t give a rat’s ass about the Oscars except when there’s titty slips and pussy uspkirts involved which unfortunately didn’t happen, let me focus on stuff that actually matters. Like Alessandra Amborosio’s doo-doo for example.

I know I’ve said it and I’m gonna say it again, I’m not a fan of chicks who reminds me of the malnourished skinned chickens hung and lined up at our local Chinese butcher shop but this evil bitch is basically asking for a butt fuck and as someone with a peen, we are not accustomed to say no to opportunities that gives said peen a taste of the forbidden hole. So here’s Alessandra bent over in a pink bikini. Because she can.

Okay, since I realized I may have gone overboard leaving you in a shockwave of disgust and horror with my last post about the deep-fried cadaver slash walking cancer that is Donatella Versace, here’s calling it quits.

May I present to you…Alessandra Ambrosio at the beach doing the bikini thingy/getting fucked by the ocean pose for Victoria’s Secret.

Here’s one of those Victoria’s Secret whores parading her non-existent tits and invisible ass in Miami yesterday. I wasn’t aware that Victoria’s Secret changed their target market to 60 somethin year old pedophiles ‘coz this horse-faced boney twat looks like that 12-year old asian newspaper boy in our neighborhood, except he prolly has more tits and ass than this.

It’s the weekends and I refuse to end the week with the usual washed-out Hollywhores I post in this site and their over-exposed punanis so here’s Alessandria Ambrosio sexing it up a notch in DT magazine because a) she’s not Khloe Kardashian and 2)she gives my weiner the butterflies. I like sweet girls.

I’m not sure why but this Victoria’s Secret chick has always given me mixed feelings in my no-no. Sometimes she’s hot, other time she looks like Sewer Horse or one of the two geckos in my ceiling. I’m in no position to tell you how freakishly ugly-creepy those geckos are since those little bastards have watched me masturbate to some weird stuff every night. I’ve heard geckos are prone to blackmailing people when offended so I’m not gonna go into details. Okay, my point in all this is that I have really nothing interesting to write about so I’m giving this skeletal slut a chance. Ever seen a sea-horse in a bikini? I rest my case.

Here’s Alessandra Ambrosio at St. Barth’s sexing with the rock and the beach sand or something.

Because booze is one motherfuckin’ rapist, it brought the skankiness drunks out of Alessandra Ambrosio in a way that an ass and an upskirt is involved. I mean, it’s not like you haven’t seen her ass a shitload of times before so you know the drill. Here she is climbing inside a car after a drunken night-out showing all the bitches how it’s done.

But girls, can I make a tiny suggestion though? Next time you get all drunk and shit, instead of losing your dignity, your panties might be an interesting alternative. No pressure. just a friendly advice here.